Nearly a year ago I started this post. Daniel Heinrich made an appearance in court. He was named as a person of interest in the disappearance of Jacob Wetterling. The sight of Heinrich made my stomach turn.
If you’ve lived in Minnesota for any length of time you’ve heard the story of Jacob Wetterling. His name instantly brings to mind his school picture, his yellow shaker knit sweater, and that sweet, sweet smile. Jacob was abducted in 1989 at the age of eleven. What happened to him is a mystery seared into the consciousness of all who know the story.
Up until the moment, he was taken his life had been good. He had loving parents. He lived with his family in a quiet town. He, and we were innocent. And then it happened. He vanished.
I graduated high school in 1989. So Jacob’s disappearance didn’t alter my childhood, but it did let me know there was danger out there in the real world. The kind of danger a recently turned eighteen-year-old normally resists acknowledging. Evil was real and it didn’t just prowl in dimly lit downtown parking ramps, it also lurked in twilight shadows along rural country roads. That made it even scarier.
A few days ago Daniel Heinrich lead authorities to Jacob’s remains. Finally. For nearly 27 years we’d all wondered where Jacob was and now we knew. The ending we had feared. Those age enhanced photos of what Jacob might’ve looked like were never real. He will forever be that innocent eleven-year-old boy.
Jacob’s mom Patty has always amazed me. I’ve followed the story and read about her countless times over the years. Initially, the story instilled some fear in me and then when I became a parent it fueled an anger. And like many, I thought if I could just see that monster for five minutes I could somehow convince him to give Patty the closure she so deserved. Â Surely he could do that one right thing.
When I think of getting that call, a call saying your boy has been taken, when I think of how desperate I would feel, how I wouldn’t have wanted to sleep until he was found, but then exhaustion would’ve won and I would awake from the nightmare to find it was my reality. Over and over again. Day after day. Oh, how painful it must have been. I ache for her at the thought. Then days became weeks and weeks became months. Patty, her husband Jerry, and their other three children had to find a new normal. I can’t even imagine.
She had a choice to make. She chose to believe there was more good than evil. She chose to live in the world that Jacob knew and believed in. At a time when I may have been investing in home-school supplies and security systems, not wanting my children out of my protective reach, Patty helped her kids back into the world. She described it as loving them out. What a brave and beautiful choice she made.
In the years that followed, she became a warrior for all children. She was and is a tireless advocate for missing children. The gains that she has made in terms of how missing children are thought of and searched for is nothing short of astounding. When Jacob went missing there was virtually no system in place to search for him, nothing was computerized, odds were not in their favor. Things are much different now thanks largely to her efforts. She became an expert on a topic not many want to study, sex offenders.
With the knowledge, she gained she knew that the man who had abducted Jacob was perhaps less of a monster than an adult who himself was abused as a boy. How sad.
So this is to say thank you Patty. Thank you for fighting for all of our kids at a time when you could’ve so easily been too broken to fight at all. Thank you for seeing the goodness in the world rather than letting fear cloud your vision. Your love for your son has shed into dark places. While a reunion is what you’d dreamt of, I hope you find comfort in learning Jacob has been at peace all this time – watching over his mom, probably astounded at her tenacity.
So many mourn with you and I hope you feel that. If your burden and pain could be lightened by all who feel it, you could be breathe easy. Thank you Patty. Rest in peace Jacob, I will always remember you smiling.
~M
Beautiful thoughts MICHELLE!
Wonderfully written. There are not enough thanks to you, Joy, for your selfless part in bringing this all together and for looking at the big picture. I am confident that Patty will continue to be a source of strength and hope for many forever. Thank you.
You put into words what many of us feel and can’t express. Thanks for this letter.
Thank you Carmen.
I agree with you. This was well written and beautiful. It is probably what many of us feel but she did a wonderful job writing it for us. Thank you.
This is such a wonderful site you started and agree for so many years we had wondered and hoped. Even myself I wondered, ‘how would I know if I saw him’? I always hoped and prayed that the ending would be different. The only positive is that the grieving family can now rest. I am so deeply saddened for this family and cannot even imagine but as this keeps happening in different communities the work that the foundation is doing is SO very much needed. So, thank you Patty. Your work is wonderful and was honored to hear that you would be continuing this work through this tragedy. My prayers are deeply with the family during this time as they try to heal their hearts and honor Jacob.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Marcy. This tragedy gave Patty’s life a purpose she never wanted, but she done so well with it – so much more than anyone could’ve asked or expected.
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman. You have echoed the thoughts that so many of us have felt, in an eloquent and deeply touching manner.
Thanks for your kind words Terri.
I cried today when I was working with my son on a remodel project with the radio on. We both were shaken and sobbing for Jacob and the entire Wetterling family. When we heard what took place in the court room and realized the pain Jacob and his family have faced, it broke our hearts for them. Your well chosen words will hopefully ease some of the pain they will endure after today and each day forward. Thank you Michelle.
Thanks for your comment Lynn. I cried a lot yesterday too.
She is amazing. And I too am so thankful for her. My heart breaks. The only words I can utter to pray are “Jesus, hold her tight.” Thanks for sharing this post Michelle!
Thanks for comment Samara. I think how she has conducted herself is a testament that Jesus has been holding her tight through all these years.
This is the most BEAUTIFUL letter I have read and says exactly what I have been feeling, too! I have always remembered Jacob the exact same way and always will. I will never forget his sweet face. God Bless Jacob and God Bless his brave Mother who shows the world what true love is. God Bless the family of Jacob! :'(
Thanks for your kind words Celeste.
Beautifully written…. Thank you for putting to words what so many have thought. From afar I have admired Patty Wetterling’s strengh, her hope, and her persistence.
Saint Patty…. Patron Saint of lost babies
She is certainly deserving of being honored for her efforts.
So perfectly put. Yes, thank you Patty. Your family has always been in my thoughts & prayers.
Beautifully said! God Bless Patty and the entire Wetterling family! Jacob has certainly been proud and smiling down on his mom! On some level, I am sure he helped bring this truth out in the open, so that his family can have closure and peace.
All of the wonderful things Patty has done for exploited and missing children is an awesome thing, and it actually helped bring my daughter home to me in 1996, she was 9 when Jacob was abducted.
I have always wanted to thank her, and have always prayed for her family!
That’s amazing Dawn, I’m so glad your daughter is home. Thanks for sharing.
You have written a wonderful, heartfelt tribute to a woman who picked up the pieces of her broken heart and helped others, all the while in her deep grieving for her missing child. She has been a true warrior for us all. Thank you Patty, may God bless your family as you move through yet another part of this nightmare.
Indeed Carla, Patty is a warrior. Thanks for reading.
Thank you, Michelle. These are my thoughts too. I also am a Minnesota ’89 graduate, and now a parent. It is so easy to feel anger with the news about Jacob, and then such sadness. Patty is an amazing and strong woman who exemplifies what it is to turn pain into something positive. I wish her family peace, along with the love they have always had.
Thanks for reading and comment Tamara. I too wish them peace.
You have put words to the thoughts of all of us who have understood a mother’s fear, while admiring the strength of Patty Wetterling. Well said.
Thank you Gail!
Beautiful expression of heartfelt thoughts, Michelle!
Thank you Kathy!
Thank you, words so true for all of us out here living our lives from day to day. My children at the time of Jacobs disappearance were 9, 7 and 6. I could not image her lost, We live in a small community where we feel safe, like a Norman Rockwell picture. Now we have Amber Alerts, children’s faces on milk cartons and sex offender registra, Patty has alerted all Minnesota Moms to learn more about sex offenders and protecting our children. I thank you Patty. We are all grieving with you and your family in our own way, may you feel our love and support. Lori
Thanks for commenting Lori.
Well stated! She is for sure a woman of strength! Along with Rita Ryker who is still holding the hope that her daughters Mary and Susan’s murders would be solved in her lifetime! Prayers for those two women!
Well stated! She is for sure a woman of strength! Along with Rita Ryker who is still holding the hope that her daughters Mary and Susan’s murders would be solved in her lifetime! Prayers for those two women!
Love this. Thank you for writing it.
Thanks you Amy.
Love this. Thank you for writing it.
Very well said Michelle!!!
Thank you for writing this, what a great thing to do. But Patty has done so much for all of us. My grandson was followed by someone walking and someone driving in a car. When he got home he was white as a ghost, exhausted from running. His sister was watching in the window for him to come home and saw the car pick up the man following behind. She got part of the license number, his mother called the cops in Marshall and they thought he was faking so they did nothing. He had nightmares for a long time afterwards. He was a patrol boy at school and that is why he was later than the other kids. This was shortly after Jacobs abduction. At that time Patty had come to our school to talk about Jacob and how to love and keep your kids safe, we happened to be in the bathroom at the same time and I got to visit with her, she was horrified that the cops did nothing and gave me the FBI number. Thanks again Patty.
Wow, thanks for commenting Elayne. So glad your grandson made it home safely.
What a beautiful tribute to this mother and family of Jacob ! We all feel as though we have lost someone dear to us. Finding forgiveness for this man is now another step in the healing process. May God help the Wetterling family and all of us come to that resolution. Thank you for sharing these thoughts we all are feeling . God Bless !
Thank you Janet.
Beautifully written, and I am safe in saying that you speak for so many of us Mom’s out here. Patty is a truly remarkable and strong woman and I have the utmost admiration for her. My thoughts, prayers, thanks and condolences go out to the entire Wetterling family.
Patty and family- so glad you have FINALLY got closure on Jacob, although not the results you and all of us were hoping for. Thanks for all your work with missing children
Beautifully written. I think the entire nation grieves for the Wetterlings
Thanks Pam.
In 1989 i was 9 years old and in the st paul miss preteen pagent . I have lived in MN my whole life. My mom always made me aware of strangers and what to do of something happened to me. Jacobs story scared the living daylights out of me and even at 9 felt so devistated for him and his family . During the pagent the burning question was “if u had one wish what would it be and why?” My answer came to me so easy ….I wished that Jacob would be found so his family didnt have to worry about him anymore…
And after all these years my wish came true im so glad he can be layed to rest and the wetterling family can have some closure. My heart breaks for his family and friends. May peace be with you!
What a beautiful wish for you to have made as a child. Peace be with you as well.
Over these 27 years, every time I would hear of another child abduction, I thought of Jacob. Jacob Wetterling. How I hoped some day he would escape his captor and find his way home. Oh sure, I knew that the worst possible scenario may be reality, but I chose to hold on to hope. I, like so many others, had Jacob embedded in my soul. Whenever I saw an adult man with a child, I took a second look. You see, Jacob and his family are neighbors of ours. We live in South Dakota and all people from Minnesota are our neighbors. We share colleges, medical facilities, shopping centers, Interstate 90, sporting events and school competitions. And we care deeply when our neighbors are violated the way the Wetterlings were. Every time Jacob or the Wetterlings came up in the news, the wound was reopened. That has happened again this week, and, once again, the anger and rage surface as we are force to accept the reality. The tears flow and the final layer of the scar on our hearts forms forever. Today we thank God for Jesus, who has had ahold of Jacob all these years. We are so thankful to know that Jacobs family will be reunited with him some day. As for the perpetrator, Mr. Heinrich,I have only this to say, “…you may be sure that your sin will find you out.” Numbers 32:23. You see, you can hide it for awhile, but if you don’t get caught, the guilt will eventually eat away at you until you have to tell on yourself. My Christian duty is to forgive you, and I do, but I will never ever….ever forget. To the Wetterlings: Thank you for what you have done for families all across America. May the Lord bless and keep you in his perfect love and peace until you see Jacob face to face with Jesus. Signed, A South Dakota neighbor.
Thanks for your comment Shari.
Lovely comments. And yes, we are neighbors! I am glad Minnesota has wonderful neighbor states like South Dakota.
We are all grieving anew for Jacob and his family. I remember how devastated the whole state was when he was taken, and we are back there now. God’s peace for the Wetterlings and all who have been touched by them and their amazing work.
I remember sitting in my home and hearing of his abduction…my heart sank for them then and now…I being a mother now this has been a constant reminder to me that in a blink of an eye it could happen to us….anyone!! Her strength and ever lasting devotion to finding him is what helps others who have dealt with the same tragedy! I hope that the family can find the strength to continue with helping others still…she and the family are OUR own guardian angels in helping find missing children…May they find some peace in knowing and a way to live on with the horrible truth! I hoped for a different outcome for the family…my continued prayers and thoughts will be with them always..as it has been for nearly 30 years. Rest in peace Jacob and know that WE/ALL of us will never forget you and your family!
Thanks for your comment Kim.
I am a fellow Minnesota woman, so this touched me deeply. Patty is amazing I always watched her on various television shows, and thought she was truly a tightly wrapped mother. She has so much patience and her poise always astounded me. Jacob, will finally have a resting place that he so much deserves. I cannot even imagine 27 years of not knowing where my child was. She is so strong! Bless the entire family sweet Jesus!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Linda. She truly is amazing.
Having a child myself now, I hope to be as strong as she is. No one wants to hear what she’s had to hear as a mother, but she’s done her best to inspire others to fight for their children and to have hope. Thank you for this post.
You’re so welcome Crystal, thank you for reading.
You put into words what so many of us thought. Thank you for that. My thoughts and prayers to Patty and the family.
Thanks for commenting Lola – you’re welcome.
We have lived in Minnesota all of our lives and have always prayed that Jacob would be found alive. His life was way to short. Jacob did nothing wrong to deserve this horrible crime.
Thank you for posting this very moving Thank you note to Patty. I hope she sees it and knows there are so many good people that really do care!
God Bless the Wetterling Family and God Bless Jacob.
Thank you for reading. I’m glad it connected with you.
Beautifully written Michelle and thank you for sharing this with all of us! I can’t even imagine what the Wetterling’s are going through but I hope they find comfort and peace through all of this hardship. Patty is an amazing and strong lady who is an inspiration to many people. Hugs to you Patty and to your Guardian Angel Jacob who is always by your side!
Thank you for reading Jean. I too hope they find peace.
I admire your strength and courage you show through all of this. I Pray you can now find the peace you really need. Thank You for all the Hope you bring forth. All of Minnesota sends their Love.
Patty, Jerry, and family, you’ve shown the courage to endure – for 27 long years. Thanks for all you did to help us find our son, Chris Jenkins. Our hearts are broken. Yet now, Jacob’s voice is heard. Our porch light is on.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing a bit of your story – I’m so glad you got your some back! Porch lights have special meaning don’t they?
Thank you for writing this. I can relate to everything you say here, perhaps because I was a Freshman in college from MN. Jacob has forever been in my prayers. After having kids myself, I just think so highly of his family, the perserverence and the courage to not let that possessed man get the best of them. I really related with your emotions of fear turned anger. Their ability to cling to hope and support others rather than despair or rage, it is just a glimpse of how God must really carry us if we let Him. Anyway, your thank you to Patty just really hit home. An Amen, sister here.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I couldn’t agree more that it is a glimpse of God at work.
I was 4 years old when Jacob Wetterling disappeared without a trace. I don’t know how, but I remember the case as being a marker in my life, as a time when parents knew their kids weren’t safe in our small Minnesota towns anymore. As a sibling, I can’t imagine how his brother has felt, growing up, knowing Jacob was taken and he wasn’t. As a parent, I can’t imagine what it would be like to have my heart ripped out and not have closure for almost 30 years. But the Wetterlings chose to work in the light. They have helped thousands of children with Jacob’s Hope, and his mother has been the definition of a warrior. I am deeply saddened about this news, as I always held out a small, naive hope that there was some reason he wasn’t home, other than this. That he would reappear someday, and they would be rewarded for all their grace throughout the years. Now, we need to wrap the Wetterlings up in our thoughts and positivity more than we ever have. They fought for so long,. The truth may bring some closure but it is still devastating
Beautifully said Jess, thanks for sharing.
There are times in your life that pain is temporary, this kind lasts forever.
Indeed it is.
Thank you Michelle for writing this beautiful thank you to Patty Wetterling. You have said very eloquently what so many of us are feeling. God Bless Jacob and his wonderful family!
You’re welcome Cindy, I’m happy it spoke to what people are feeling.
Thank you putting my exact thoughts into words. Beautiful written and this should go viral.
Thanks Jill.
Beautifully said. Thank you for saying what we were feeling.
Glad it connected with you Tricia.
Beautifully written, I think you put what a lot of us are thinking so eloquently into words.
Not long ago we had an abduction in our neighborhood and 6 months later we all shared the same tragic news that this person was never coming back.
How these parents find the strength to pick up and move on astounds me.
I believe that Patty has been a beacon of light and strength not only for children, but also an advocate and guiding light for all parents.
Thank you for doing this.
I’m so sorry for the loss your neighborhood experienced. Thanks for reading Sue.
Eloquently written were your thoughts of Jacob and tribute to his Mother, Patty. What a tragedy to have to suffer through all this time. God is the judge of us all. He will deal with the evil doers in this world. We have the responsibility to live our lives the best we can and focus on all that is good which is of God. Jacob has been in His arms with love and comfort since the tragic day of his death. Blessed be his Memory. May God be with his family left behind to mourn his abduction and loss.
Well said Josie, thanks for reading.
Very courageous and inspiring family.
In a situation – if you can even call it just that – that could have torn the family apart, they not only pulled together and survived – they pulled an entire human sector crossing boundaries of community, state and time together with hope, love and anticipation.
It was not the outcome that anyone wished for Jacob and his family, but still a binding of love and hope. For families missing loved ones put to rest, for families trying to hold it together after a loved one has been taken and for a brighter future for all working through this type of ordeal.
Thank you, Wetterling family for being our porch light. Please all, may we continue to be theirs as well?
Thanks for your comment Patti, love the thought of us all serving as a porch light for this family – lovely.
YES…….JESUS has been holding her very tight…… Mrs. Wetterling is One OUTSTANDING beautiful person and her family is quite extraordinarily loving and with righteousness! Your Note of Thank you, Michelle is very beautifully written! God Bless so much more to you and the Wetterling family. AMEN!
Thanks for your comment Sheri.
Today was the memorial service for Jacob. I wish I would have went. However, I’m sure the family appreciates everyone’s prayers and thoughts today. He will never be far from our thoughts & continued prayers either.RIP
Linda, I wanted to go to the service as well. It seemed fitting to say goodbye.